sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
They are going to name an STD after you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
