3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
