do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
