i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
