you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
