It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
