I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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