so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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