i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
