they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
