Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
