Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
