people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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