Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I came so hard my ears popped.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
