I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
