You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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