i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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