The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
