CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
