As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
