I want to have your abortion
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I came so hard my ears popped.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
