so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
