omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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