Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
