The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
