Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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