That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
