Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
