everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
