I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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