Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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