Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
