Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
