Only a mothe r could love this liver
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
