New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't deserve a penis
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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