i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
