Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
this just has baby written all over it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
