The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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