3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
