Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
