That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
