Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
