There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
