why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I woke up under a house in Key West
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