woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
