i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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