hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
