why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
