She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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