why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
