Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
