clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm just crazy horny about you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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