Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
